Friday, October 5, 2012

An Unfortunate Dental Incident

Those who know me would understand how special of a history I have with dentists. And I wish none of my kids would ever even have a minute portion of such problems.
But kids are kids and as they are full of energy and carefree at times they just bump into things. So Noam fell on his face today. And knocked one of his tooth.
School called. Noam fell. Come pick him up. Daddy on his way.
Meanwhile, I needed to find the number for a dentist - a dentist that can speak some english, and that could see him today.  How do you say "my son fell" again? Refer to some emails seen on a expat forum. A strange coincidence, my husband's boss had needed such information for her own son and had emailed everyone there. Call a few of these dentists  - try my best portuguese with secretaries. Get to talk to one (dentist). Send son and husband to Xray. Then to this dentist.
Noam came back home with a brand new smile, a contention wire to hold the loose tooth, like the big kids with braces. He will be fine.
Mommy's hearth sank.
 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

About to Moving In. Maybe Not?

We are about to move in. Tomorrow. And today is the day where we do the official walk-through. There is a person that has been hired to do a list of the condition (or state) of all things, so that when we are moving out, we can check against that list if everything was left in order. Yesterday night, the lawyers came back to us. It took them a month to find out about some elements are missing to complete a proper lease registration. In fact, there are three issues preventing for the proper completing of all registration procedures, the two first being simple: officially the house is registered as a co-property of the owner and his wife, although she is deceased; and a paper is missing to show that all taxes have been cleared by the owner.  However the last but not least, the house is not found in the cadaster registration or Registro de Imoveis. Well, think about this. In other words, the house is not registered. The house does not exist legally... This is a real problem of land or property rights. Oops! Big oopsy.
I am not sure why it took one month for the notaries and lawyers to find this out. And why we are told the day prior to our move.  We are not sure also on how this could be corrected - administrative procedures here are complicated, and to say the least, lengthy. The lack of proper registration might be due to various reasons. The "correction" of the elements pointed out by the lawyers would allow us the register the lease, ensuring a proper protecting in case of legal need - for example if the owner sells. Not completing the registration procedures could mean that a new owner could quick us out, among other things.
Should we take the risks? we asked. We took a moment to reflect, and asked around for some opinions. Is the risk big, if there are no registration of a building? Maybe not so much - who would buy a building without the proper registration papers anyway. And we (more specifically me) really wanted to get out of our rental place. In the end, we touched wood, and chose to take the assumption that all would be fine, that the owner was a trustworthy guy. He did appear to be this way. Knock knock.
So today, I went anyway to do the walk-thought. The owner and his girl-friend were there. The house was standing empty, waiting impatiently to have us moving in. It was beautifully ready for us.
I was very nervous. I had to break the news, explain at best what the lawyers found, detail what was missing to the owner. Of course the lawyers would fill the blanks. Yet it felt like I was the jolly messenger coming to kill the party.
So despite my clear statements to the owner about our intention to trust that he would do all the necessary paperwork, despite being there for the transfer of the keys, the owner did not understand me at all.  His face went white. He jaw dropped open. Then tightened. He just understood the property issue - he saw the wall of bureaucracy in front of him. He probably was angry to have made all this effort transferring his things and moving. I had to explain at least four times.  His girlfriend, who understood well english, could translate. Yes, we would do this in good faith. We would trust that he does all the necessary paperwork to register the lease, in order to enable him - and us - with a better and more complete legal protection. It was probably so unlikely that he could understand my english.
We then did the walk-through. Here are some photos.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

A Great Escape

Sometimes, you gotchado whachagotchado. I have been in dire need of a break. This regime of a life - not yet on the balanced side - is putting me to a state of intense fatigue, usually demonstrated by my hyperactivity - making sure I am just really more tired.
Anyway, I am not feeling so zen with all this kid centered activity, and lack of time for any kind of time for myself (despite my post about 2 coffee dates in the same morning, this was a once in a blue moon day, in terms of social interaction. Usually it is limited to my language teacher).
Then I met some new friends who talked to me into escaping. Yes, escaping on a beach with a few other bright smart beautiful and fit women, to do some yoga, hang out and relax. Sounds like a plan.
Thanks to Dorota to wisely kick my but: "Moms are the best ones to sabotage their chances to get time for themselves". That was what I needed to hear to make this happen logistically.
Thanks to the girls: Fiona, Megan, Stephanie, Sabrina and Dorota, for opening up their arms and allowing me to tag along, and have so much fun...
Thanks to Isabel Sebeh, from Ecohar Yoga Ashram at Maragogi, for her wonderful cooking, her generosity and energy. She surely knows how to wake up a crowd early in the morning for meditation.



From maragogi yoga

Friday, September 28, 2012

Security Check

I have done security check ups countless amount of time. Flying solo with one or even two kids, having to empty the stroller basket while holding a crying child, having to debate the need to carry breast milk/baby jars to an agent, having to get my children to walk barefoot through the metal detector, having to empty all my carefully overpacked diaper back (and stuff it back while watching the kids run away), having to go through the super special security because I flew with an empty suitcase (I need to return it back to my dad), having to drink all my water before putting my bag in the scanner, having to do two or even three checks in the same airport because of terminal changes, well, having done in enough times in enough differently pressing situation, I usually feel ready for it all, specially when flying alone, without the kids. 

But already the Brazilian airport security seems to have a different take at things than anywhere else. When we landed in Sao Paolo in our historical flight, the security did not allow the kids to bring the scooters at the gates of our next flight (Sao-Brasilia). We needed to check them, to go back to the counter and check them as luggage.  The agents were inflexible, despite our accounts of international airpots allowing them (we could recall Beijing, Hong Kong, Tel Aviv, Istambul, Paris, Montreal, Québec, Bangkok, Moscow, among others). We were unusure of what were the reasons behind this request - I am still speculating here - are they afraid of us smuggling gun powder in the frame of the rolling device? Afraid of it being used to steal bags from old ladies and escape super fast? Or simply afraid we could use the frame as a weapon?? You tell me.
Today I just went through security again. Now that I boarded this flight for my extended weekend on mommy-cation, a couple things at the security still leave me perplex. First, they did not mind my 125 or even 150 ml bottles of liquid - and I had a few as did not checked my bag for this short escapade. Second, they did not asked me pull my computer out of the bag (this is a real pleasant novelty). But, they asked me to take off my jewelry, necklace and bracelet. As if I could conceal a weapon in them... 
Luckily they did not ask to remove my wedding ring, because I would not have been able to fly. 


And a bonus photo of Brasilia's international airport, looking from the third floor down to the arrival floor and below the departure hall. 

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Birthday Boys - part one

To alleviate some of my angst about the whole Birthday Affair, and to avoid driving ourselves mad in preparing this event, we decided to go for our own version of a small but memorable anniversary celebration.  As this is admittedly important for our little crew - a really serious event for them - a bit of mental preparation and explanation had to be done to ensure disappointment would not follow (too much)...
Our recipe: A baking activity involving my small crew. As a result, a few homemade super-decorated cupcakes. A bunch of Brazilian treats, especially sweet. A set of funny hats - Pluto and Donald for instance.  Of course, a small cake for each boy, with a special candle that doesn't blow out right away.  A picnic set-up, with table cloth, juices, plates. A fine location, here, under some nice trees in a pretty waterfront area. A number of well selected gifts. Then numerous calls with relatives abroad.


We wanted to create a nice memory, a nice moment, and save the party for a little later, when we would be installed in our new house.  The result was pretty good, we felt. We had a good time. They looked happy, pleased, content. 
But as I am writing, they are not forgetting about the second part, in the new house. Nothing is missing their eyes, these little guys. I guess this is what is called maturing. 


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Birthdays Angst

Kids birthday parties is a big industry here. Parents take this event very seriously. Since our arrival we have already been to four anniversaries, and are expected to go to many more. From my now experienced eye, the parties should have the specific elements to be succesful. 
First; there has to have a table with an elaborate cake, with a theme - some cartoon hero, kids movie character or something similar to that. The cake, usually quite elaborate, should be displayed on a table, covered in decoration where sweets are hidden, displayed or integrated. There should be a background wall of a color similar to the table cover, so that the little kids family can stand behind the cake at a strategic moment - the candle blowing - and be completely bombarded by photographers. 

Second; there should be some kind of animation, usually a clown painting faces, making kids (and sometimes adults) play games like musical chairs, limbo, or other silly things. A piniata is optional, but enjoyed. 


Third; food should be of various kinds, and should be flowing unlimited. Popcorns, juices and sodas, mini sandwiches, and other light food are served on trays to little kids by an empregada or even better, a waiter. 
Fourth; something to jump on - usually a trampoline or a bouncy castle - should be rented, and used to get the kids extremely excited until the animation starts. 


Fifth; all friends from the class are invited, usually with the help of a very pretty little invitation card. Sixth; you should bring a present. (Read my post about the cost of things here, and imagine what it means to have to attend to a combination of 23 plus 17 little friends' anniversaries). 
Seventh; parents are expected to attend, it is a social event on its own. 
Eight; it has to last four hours. To which you are not expected to arrive on time (thanks god), but should departs only after the traditional birthday song is sang. 

So you imagine the pressure I feel having two little boys sharing the same birthday tomorrow. I have been mulling over this for the last couple weeks, wondering on how to approach this. How to resist this extravaganza. Afraid of it actually. Various reasons push me to fear this, the first being the gigantisimic proportions this would take if all 40 little colleagues come along with parents and siblings. A 200 person party for my 3 and 5 year old? Really, that is the norm?!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Hidden behind the W3

The other day we walked home from school. It was not really intended, the car needed to be reviewed by some official ministry, and we could not find a cab. Slowly, we made our way to our Quadra 106.  The walk was much shorter than I had expected, even with my kids slowest speed and their numerous pauses for a newly found stick or rock or other natural treasure.
The layout of this area of the city intended to create spaces between the quadras where people could find services (like the little library or the police station) and move freely from one place to another.
From the school, we crossed the street and walked pass another kindergarden. Much discussions on why we could not go play in that playground. And a quick look at the colorful simple modern concrete block of its building.
One minute later, we were walking pass right beside these garage-door houses of the W3. In fact, only one row of these houses have their facade on the W3, and four or five more rows are lined behind the first one. Each of these two row of houses are facing each other, with their facade creating what could have been a civic street, but resembling more a display of garage door options of a catalogue. The back of these houses is occupied by private small courtyards of a few square meters - 20 or 25 m2 maybe - lined up against each other, caged-in by high wrought iron fences of different motives. What is really interesting is that the back of these rows. Instead of a tight layout of rows back to back against one another, the planners have allowed for a green space between the yards of each row, creating a great corridor of verdure, with large trees. It is particularly pleasant now with this heat.
The contrast between their closed facades, brut in style and furthter roughened up by graffitis; and the luxuriant green corridor is almost incompatible. And so different from the general feeling one has in the city; this is a place where walking is pleasant, welcomed, even encouraged - if only limited to the short length of a few blocks.

In fact, when it comes to lanes and alleys behind urban housing, I always found these spaces very inspiring and evocative. Daniel Toole, a Seattle architect who studied lanes extensively, qualifies lanes as "a refuge from the city". My personal love of alleys probably started in Montreal's lanes, les ruelles, so rich of unexplored potential, with layers of textures emerging from various owners, small renovations and other activities not usually meant to be on display. They are also at times dirty, as they were intended to be for garbage collection, a place to run electricity lines, an access to each house's individual parking space. In Montreal's collective imagery, the ruelle plays a important role, a place where kids play, learn to bike and where neighbors interact. Famous writers have set their stories in them, while some are now converted either in "green lanes" or pedestrian lanes.  
This book documented Montreal's lanes.
In Beijing, this semi-private/semi-public space was not exactly possible in the public housing projects, neither in the private ones, simply for their density and their scale. Yet the lanes of the old city, the Hutongs, were clearly potent with a life and an activity unique in the city, but in a different, more public way. In fact, the traditional Beijing houses were laid out back to back, leaving the front door as the mere access to the public sphere, a very narrow lane. The private activities that occur daily in front of these houses - whether it is drying laundry, playing cards, reading, napping, managing a renovation, stocking goods, or simply watching the lane's hustle bustle (lots of people do only that) - all could only happen because of the very tight layout of houses, one against another. These houses, with a set of unconnected rooms opening all to a peaceful courtyard, were meant originally for only one family. Over the years, they have slowly lost their center, as their courtyard has been taken over by invasive internal additions and populated by several families; they have been cannibalized from the inside. Consequently the lane becomes the breathing space of the residents.

The topic of hutongs are worth more than one post - hopefully later in my other blog
Yet, if Beijing's public space became more of a display of private uses due to the residents' lack of private spaces (as it is often typical in Asia), if Montreal's ruelles have a charm despite being a utilitarian space in the first place, the lanes of the W3 houses are different. The in-between backdoor space of the W3 row houses feels more intimate, despite their public condition. At the opposite of Montreal's alleys, the back of the every courtyards is exposed to the walkers, through high fences. The canopy of the trees, the lush plant carpet, the quasi absence of a hard path and the absence of other walkers makes you feel that a promenade is a bit an excursion in people's private lives. This is not an alley for services. It primary use is to be enjoyed. And it is a pleasant respire from the car oriented culture of the capital city.